You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
