he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
