Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize