What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
