Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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