Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
