i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
