Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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