not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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