***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
