please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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