I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
