So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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