I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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