i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
