Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
