i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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