i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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