So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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