My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
