I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
