i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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