i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
