The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize