I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
