Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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