Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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