and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
