so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize