whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
