oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
