There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
