And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
