No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
