I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
