I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
