Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
