my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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