I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
