Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize