You're my little dorito
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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