Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
