they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
