I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
