Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
