Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
