i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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