hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
