I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
