maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
