I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
