im about as happy as oj after his trial
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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