Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
