Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
