Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
