I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
