well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?