I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
