I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection