I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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