i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.