Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I feel like a drive thru vagina
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit