thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
