C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
