I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
