If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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