So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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