we're blogging at a bar
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
