So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you would pick up someone in the library
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
