I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
