How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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