White coat. Heels.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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