I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
